


Drunk words are sober thoughts

by nica00



Category: The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Achilles doesn't want drunk sex, Achilles is both hung and a top fite me, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Drunk Sex, I Don't Even Know, I don't really know what age they are, Just read, M/M, Modern AU, Patroclus is like calm down bro I'm just giving your dicky dick a sucky suck, Voyeurism, Whichever you like, dick measuring, high school or college I guess, kind of but not really, no non-con, patrochilles - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-06-23 22:24:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15616317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nica00/pseuds/nica00
Summary: While drunk, Achilles and Patroclus dick measuring activity takes a surprising turn (it really isn't surprising they're gay for each other)





	1. Chapter 1

“No, you have to put the ruler at the base” Patroclus says, bursting into giggles and covering his mouth as if it was running by itself.

I redden at this, because I'm flaccid and the way my cock jiggles in my hands makes me feel partly embarrassed. I had never measured myself before ( I liked to think that I was at least a little above average) but me and Patroclus were pissed drunk and bored. It somehow seemed like the best use of our time right now. So here we are, him sitting on the floor with his mouth open in a toothy grin. Usually he was really uptight like a little pilgrim about things like these, but not when his cold skin was warmed by alcohol.

“I can't hold the goddamn ruler and my junk at the same time. Hold the ruler in place, _Patroclus_ ” I slur. Everything but not his name. I wasn’t that drunk compared to him. I still knew that some words are not meant to be slurred. You say them like you would a litany, with diction and reverence.

He holds the ruler in place and when his fingers brush against the skin between my thigh and pelvis, I pay no mind to it. I can't because my dick is literally beside his hand and he would notice. So I ignore the closeness we were in, I ignore the very visible marks in his lips where he bites them, the brown of his eyes speckled with light mahogany. I even try to ignore the feeling of his eyes on me, on me there and the way he tried his best not to stare. I stop ignoring when I feel myself harden against my hand. I can feel my whole face flushing and I can't believe it because there's so much blood down there already. 

“Jesus” he muses, not even trying to hide the fact that he was staring. And staring, and then licking his lips. The way he said it in a whisper made his warm breath ricochet against my skin. Then he took a deeper breath and inhaled, his grip on the ruler hasty. “Are you fully hard right now?”

“Yes” I say, shamefully. He doesn’t ask me why and I’m grateful to whatever deity is in charge of me. He swallows hard and presses up the ruler against my erection.

“7.2 inches” he says, holding the ruler and putting his fingers somewhere beside it, managing not to touch. “It's about 3 fingers in girth too” he says, scrunching up his eyebrows. I look down and notice the way his bare chest looked, a slight blush creeping upon his olive skin. He kneeled beside me and put his hands on his face and breathing harshly, like he was about to cry.

“Hey, what's wrong?” I ask and he doesnt look up from his hands. “Its okay if you're bigger or smaller, not everyone's the same, there’s nothing to be ashamed of”

He looks up and stares blankly ahead at the wall, not really reacting. “ _Patroclus_ really, you're my best friend, I don't want you to freak out because you’re sma-”

“I want it in my mouth” he says recklessly, pressing his lips together. “It’s pretty. I have wanted to see it for such a long time. I'm a fan” he continues, waving at my dick like he was introducing himself. I don't dare to laugh even though it’s pretty obvious that he is just drunk. I don't think he means it. “I’ve seen you through skinny jeans and boxers and sweatpants, stupid sweatpants. I-” he says, hastily rubbing his eyelids. He was always awkward and I loved that about him but now it was quite comical. He was talking. To my dick. “Can I suck you off Achilles? Just once, I have thought about it so many times. Just like this. I'm on my knees and I can taste you, all of you and you massage my hair, being careful not to choke me because you care but still using the force I need to feel satisfied. You’re so close and hard and I want to make you feel good” 

“Patroclus, what are you saying?” I say, tugging my pants on and resisting the urge to tug on my cock to relieve the tension.

“Fuck, I’m saying I want to blow you” he says, slowly smiling groggily at me and I have to run my hands through my hair, because fuck If I didn't want to stuff my dick inside his mouth until he drooled. I don't think I ever wanted something so badly. But I couldn’t.

“You’re drunk” 

“I'm not that drunk” he says, pouting and crossing his arms in defiance.

“You literally talked to my dick. Like it was a person, you introduced yourself and everything” his frown deepens at this.

“Please, I can’t stop thinking about it” he begs.

“No, not right now. If you can remember this tomorrow and still want to, I’ll gladly let you and more. You may not be that drunk as you say but you're still properly pissed” I say, in a tone that said that was the end of the conversation but he speaks and my knees go weak.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want this when I am sober”

“Patroclus” I say and sigh, a bit of my self control slipping away. “No, I don't want you to regret this. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and take care of myself, you can stay here and do the same” I say, glancing at his own issue. We never got to measure his. But now would be a perfect time because it was at full mast.

“Achilles wait” he says. “Can I watch instead?” He says, a very serious and determined look on his face. “I won't touch you, I promise. I'll just stay here and watch” he wanted a show...

“Patroclus, alcohol makes you quite bold, doesn’t it?” I say, giving in. It technically wouldn’t be sex and it would make him happy. I wanted him so badly, just not like this.

“Maybe so” he smirks, nodding his head in direction of my bed. I start to take off my jeans and begin to climb on the mattress with just my boxers before he stops me.

“Take them off, take it all off Achilles” he says, no, _orders_ and sits on the floor at the end of my bed. Looks like he wanted to direct the show too.

I take my boxers off and sweep them elsewhere with my foot, looking as he follows every move my body makes. I sit, my back against the headboard, and legs shut, unlike how I usually did this by myself. I usually opened my legs.

“Spread your legs babe” He says, like he was in my head and I feel the ground shaking at the endearing nickname, and he notices because he smiles, his cocky smile.

 “Do you like being called pretty things, baby?” He asks and I nod my head in a circle unspecifically and faster than I can process it. He scoffs a little. “Its okay, I can still use my mouth to make you feel good from over here. It's just gonna take a little more time for you” he says gently, but with a somewhat deviousness in his tone and I swallow, hard because I knew I was gonna pay. Hard. Literally. “Start out slow, Pelides”

I grab my dick and tug, softly feeling the nerves hum in relief at the well awaited friction. “Come here for just a second” he says and I do so, obediently. “Hold out your hand for me” I do and saliva drips from his mouth and onto my hand, lips barely brushing my hand but still leaving fire in their faint wake. “Go back, and fuck your fist for me. You’ll stop when I say so and you wont hold back any noises. Got it?” He whispers in my ear, the lewd words sounding so wrong but so right coming out of his mouth and into my ears. 

“Yes” I say feeling the warmth of his spit and bring myself up to the space I occupied in the bed before.

“Then start Achilles, calmly” he purrs, biting his lip softly.I begin to buck my hips softly into the heat of my hand, his warm spit making me feel erotic and harder than I’ve ever been before. He watches, his chin on my mattress and his hands busy moving somewhere else. Fuck. “Grab your balls and tease them, press into the space between your ass and your cock with the other hand. Trust me it feels good” I do as he says feeling odd but then so good, I can't stop. "Now go to your cock, stop pressing your fingers there” I groan, because he was being mean not letting me even leak a little.“You’re so gorgeous. Where did you come from? How are you even real?” This, these words make sounds leave my mouth, without me wanting them to. It's a raspy cry, my hands trembling as he looks me dead in the eyes, as if memorizing just how pleasure looked on me.

“You. You're such a little shit”

“You look so good baby. So good with your legs open for me like that. I can see every inch of you, and it only reassures me how much I want to bury my face there and take you all the way down my throat. Would you like that?” I nod furiously.

“Tomorrow, then”

“Please, please don't stop talking” I say, going back to the spot where it felt good to apply pressure. 

“I won't baby boy. Did I say you could touch there?”

“No, but I need to” 

“Then stop being greedy, I didn't give you permission. Take your hand off your pretty cock baby. Now how does that feel there?” 

“Really good, like fireworks but in my stomach”

“Keep pressing”, he says. His hand was blurred both by the distance and the speed, both our movements making the bed rock softly.

 _“Nghh_ Patroclus, how much longer?”

“Until I say so”

“Fuck. Fuck Fuck _Fuck”_

“Now _slowly_ jerk yourself off, keep your other hand there, thumb on your perineum and the other fingers moving your balls, I can tell you love that by the way you screw your eyes shut. Do it but you can't come just yet. 

“Let me come, please _philtatos_ ” his eyes soften at this, the tension in my belly growing more and more.

“I want us to do it together. Do you want that?” He asks me, his voice too stable to be close so I made it my mission to make him last less, for both of our sakes.

“Can you keep talking, and get on the edge of the bed where I can see you?” I plead, eyes watering a little from holding back.

“You want to watch me?”

“Yes, I really do” I answer, and he goes slowly getting up from his knees. They were a faint red with rug burns, and his slim legs were a little trembly as he sat down. Still in his boxers, he starts to grip himself through the fabric.

“Can you take them off for me?”

“No” he says, stroking roughly and a slight blush appearing on his tan skin.

“Okay, you can borrow a pair of mine once were done”

“Thank you” he says, eying me and stopping to look at my chest. Turns out he is just as curious about me as I am about him.

“And your t-shirt, can you take that off for me?” He nods, tugging it swiftly up his torso and tossing it to the floor. If this scene was a painting, the shirt on the floor, the action of how he did it would be the centre of it, not me with my legs open. But him, his chest and hard nipples. The crevices between the outlines of his abdomen, that is not too marked but soft and relaxed. Welcoming. I wanted to kiss the skin there desperately and hear the breaths that would earn me, ravish him right here in my bed. 

“Please tell me you want to kiss me as much as I do” he asks, and my hand is still on my hardness because he hasn't told me to do anything yet and I wanted to be obedient.

“I do, I really really do. But _tomorrow_ ” and he whimpers at this, his hand moving slowly inside of his black boxer briefs.

“Really, you're not just saying that?” he asks shyly, eyes big and pouty. God he was drunk, and so was I. Not only off the beer but off the image of him that was dizzying, making my spine and legs tingle, better than the beer ever made me feel.

“You think I'm just saying that when I’m laying like a whore with my legs open for you. And in my own bed? I'm not just saying that”

“Like a whore? Do you feel uncomfortable like that?” he asks, not once tearing his eyes away from my exposed body and I couldn't help but love the power I had over him, even if it as for a small amount of time.

  
“I didn't say it in a bad way” I say, eyes cast downwards to his lap where his hands were working overtime.

“So you like feeling inhibited? feeling slutty?” he asks me teasingly, curiosity dripping from his tongue as we threaded into more uncharted territory.

“No, but I like it when _you_ watch me”

“Good then” he keeps skimming over me, but in the dim light of the room I could see the way he was leaking into the fabric of his underwear. “Touch yourself again” the authority slipping back into his voice. “Tomorrow, I am going to wreck you” he continues, speaking jaggedly and I nod.

“And I you, trust me” I breathe into each thrust I take into my hand. He climbs closer to me, head hanging between my legs. He leans down so close that I can feel his breath on my skin once more. Just when I am about to speak, he gently spits into my fisted hand and backs down, lying face down in my bed with his hands pleasuring himself under him. It’s warm and something so kind that it swelled my heart (and my dick) to know that I was experiencing this with him. He writhes into the mattress, his head close to where my right leg was spread. He starts to pump himself faster and I pick up the pace as well, because we were doing this together. His mouth is open in silent bliss, hair sticking to his forehead and he starts to knead his head into my leg like a cat. He shakes at the friction and I too, feeling his hair on my skin. I start to sputter into my hand, merely leaking but I shake my leg as a side effect and he looks up, between my legs with eyes lidded and mouth agape. I come then, all over my stomach with harsh breaths alleviating some of my desire for him but not all of it. I still burn . He sits up, looking at my ruins and comes undone too, telling me to play with the come that had landed on the inside of my thighs. Afterwards, I don't think I ever wanted it to be the next day so badly. Not even when it was Christmas Eve.


	2. Heartstopper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finish what Patroclus started;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Achilles finally takes Patroclus to the candy shop and lets him lick the lollipop
> 
>  
> 
> I’m sorry for that I think I’m funny sometimes

I awake with a warm breath at my earlobe, and a hand pressed to my collarbone over my shirt.

“Patroclus, wake up” 

I open my eyes and see him, closer than ever. It startled me so he backs off, sitting on the bed with his legs crossed. He was looking at my lips and I wondered if I was going to have to make the first move because damn, I don’t think I can. Frankly I don't deserve this. 

“Last night, you said you wanted some things that I am not sure you really want. I think you said them because you weren’t sober”

“You know what they say, “If I said it drunk I thought about it sober” I tell him and he gets closer then, his mouth parted and lips shiny as he licked them. 

“That is good to know”

“If you know then what are you waiting for?” I say, voice monotone and somewhat confident but the way my body was reacting under him was almost embarrassing. 

“I’m just savoring the moment”

“What?” I say, kind of surprised by his statement. What was there to savour here? 

“You react so nicely to this. Just this, imagine everything else I'm gonna make you feel” He finished, my face warm up to the tips of my ears. He traces his thumb through my eyelid in a loving gesture, kissing the side of my head so softly that I almost did not notice. He just pressed his lips to my head. “Your pupils are blown wide” 

“I’m just trying to take you in better” I say and he smirks, not his usual smirk but a soft and syrupy smirk. He leans in more than before, pulls me closer and and then retreats, dragging me with him by my sides. I go to grab his cheek but change my mind when I notice what I am doing, so I hold my arm and grip it with my other one tightly so it doesn’t wander off. He takes my imprisoned hand and places it in his cheek reassuringly, where I wanted to touch before but was too cowardly to. My hand rests there, my pinky and ring finger dipping to the crevice of his jaw and into his neck. 

“You’re shaking like a leaf”

“I wish I was drunk right now”

“What?! Why?” He says, backing off slightly. 

“I am braver when I am drunk, I just think and say it. I don't think and think and not do. God I want to do so many things” I say, my voice shaking now too.

“You can still do them” 

“I'm not sure I can” I wanted to kiss him, badly. To have him inside of my mouth and writhing because of me. To touch his hair and every little freckle on his back too. Press my lips into the birthmark on his forearm, and hear his withering voice as he is reborn below my mouth. I wanted to be his reason to come undone. A simple concept. It wasn't a hard concept, yet I kept denying myself this. He was right there and looking at my lips, and I was having a crisis. I haven’t done any of this before, not even kisses. He knows this, so he leans in, our cheeks pressed together and whispers 

“Count to three and do it, anything you want Patroclus” 

“Can you count with me?” I say into the small space between us and he nods. 

 _“One. Two. Three”_  

I fling myself into him, angling my face but end up pressing my lips to the spot above his, and he chuckles.

“Easy now. Lets go again. One, two, three” he enunciates and my lips finally find his. They are warm and soft, molding against mine and I never imagined that they would fight back. I always thought kisses were just smooth, but he kissed like he had everything to lose. He caught me by surprise when his hands touch the side of my thighs and he lifts me to where I am sitting on his lap while he lays down. 

“Is it okay if I kiss you somewhere else?” I say in between breaths. 

“You mean everywhere else?”

“Precisely” I smile at him. 

“Yes, do it. I want you to” I worship every vein in his arm, every freckle on his skin and every crevice I find on my way south. I bite on the skin, unable to define what exactly takes over me in those moments but I nip and bite and love it, the taste of him on my tongue. I guess it must be something primal. He said these things, these noises when I did, like he was sighing with words. A quick release of incoherences that sounded melodious to me.  I debauch in the way our skin seemed to blend, like coffee and milk mixing together as one as I arched my body into his. I couldn’t get closer but still wanted to. My mouth is parted in his stomach, mouthing at the muscles there and tugging at his soft pajama bottoms as I breathe him. I kiss him below the elastic band through the fabric and his hips mover ever so slightly. He pets my hair, gently just like I knew that he would and plays with the baby hairs on the back of my neck. This makes me groan, softly into his skin and he giggles because of the vibrations.

“Hey _hey_. Breathe” 

“Why did you do that?” I ask, voice shaky with desire. My scalp was always very sensitive.

“Well you told me you wanted me to, when you blew me. That was what you wanted, was is it not?”

“I did? What else did I say?”

“You said you wanted to be on your knees while at it, and wanted me to pull on your hair softly but strongly, just how you liked it. You said you wanted to make me feel good”

“I said all of that? Fucking hell” I say, hiding in his crotch.

“Its okay, I really want to do those things too” 

“Anything else, while im already drowning in embarrassment” 

“Yeah, you said hi to my-” he gets cut off by some wierd coughs and continues. “ You said hi to my um, dick” he says cackling and vibrating with laughter. “You introduced yourself to it” He wheezes and by the time he finally catches his breath, I am already off the bed and looking for my phone to grab my stuff and leave.

“Woa woa, where are you going?” 

“Home, I am leaving”

“No, you’re not” he says, tugging me forwards by my hips. “I’m sorry for laughing, but your little friend here is eager and I know you are too” he states, like the know it all he is. I loved him and hated him simultaneously as he smirked, tugging himself out of his underwear.

“You. You’re a menace” I say, and stumble towards where he kneels in the bed. 

“You love it” he says, and it takes a lot for me not to nod at this statement. He hugs me as reach him, beginning to devour my neck, just below my hairline. 

“Oh” is all that comes out when he does. He kisses my jaw, my cheek and then slips his tongue into my “o” shaped mouth.

“On your knees Patroclus” he orders and I raise my eyebrows at him.

“I really wish you remembered last night, you got very bossy. You made me put on a show just so you could come, now it's my turn. I want to see you, mouth open, used and undone before me” he kisses me again, grabbing my hair and urging me to do what I wanted. I bend my knees, so i am kneeling and tug him down so he sits on the edge of the bed. 

“Attaboy” he says, slipping his fingers into my hair and waits for me to put him in my mouth. I lick his crown, exploring this and trying to get a reaction. I begin to move, rocking back and forth in and out of his mouth wantonly. 

“Here, rest your head on my tigh so your neck doesn't hurt” he positions my head, carresingmy hair and digging his fingers through my scalp, lighting me aflame. 

“Baby, touch yourself. You need it” he says and I do, my hand wet with the white leaking slowly from my cock. He guides himself into my mouth, tracing my bottom lip with his tip and I can taste him already.

He pulls away, fast and I waste no time on moving forward and sinking it all the way into my mouth. Well all the way it would fit.

“You don't have to do that Patroclus” he breathes, voice strained by my doings.

“Yes, I want to” I say, the response being muffled but he understood. 

“You’re doing really good” It feels like I wasn't in this world anymore. It was just us, a mess of skin draped over each other and sweat. It was euphoric, how every nerve in my body thrummed in sync with his breathing. My hand had never felt so good and I realized it was just because he was there, and I had him in my mouth. I was pleasing him, and seeing him come apart was my breaking point. I come on my hand, making a mess beside his bed. That was my offering to him, he was a deity, in a shrine above me and like a believer I brought him gifts and prayed that he would have pity on me, granting me what I desperately wished for. He concedes, filling my mouth and breathing fast, pulling out of my mouth trying to make less of a mess. A streak of come connects my mouth to his crown and I stick my tongue out to lap it over it, but he tugs me up so fast I don't have a chance to. He kisses me, not minding his own taste in my lips and the way it spilled out of our mouths and onto our chins. He presses soft kisses to my neck and hairline, close to my ear and I shiver, enjoying the stickiness and the sensation of being covered by him. 

“Was that all you expected?” 

“Even better Achilles”

“I want to do this, with you. All the time” 

“Me too” I say, getting red to the tips of my ears. 

“Why are you blushing? After all that you blush at this!” He says, laughing in disbelief.

“Shut up” 

“Make me” he says, wiping the corners of his mouth cockily.

“You are such a cliche”

“You still want me though” 

“I do, that makes it worse” I admit, and he smiles his face a fire I was always getting burned with. 

“Worse? I am offended-” I cut him off with a kiss, and he grins smugly into it.

“I was wondering when you’d do that” he says after we pull away.

“Well, you got what you wanted” After a little but of explorative groping, he whispers in my ear 

“You know Patroclus, we never really got around to measure yours”

At this, my heart stopped.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t proofread this so point out errors pls. Thank you for reading my smut based on sexual repression and inexperience.

**Author's Note:**

> I have not written anything in a long ass time because I'm doing shit for my first year of college and I've been busy. Sorry! But I'm back to my disgustingly filthy self again, so I wrote this. Please point out errors and enjoy the smutty smut <3


End file.
